End of an Era

This weekend my baby girl will play in her last softball game in the league she has been a member of since she was 5.  I think this is the last of the "milestone" lasts that I have to endure.  They've all been hard.  From my oldest daughters last day of college, all the way through to this weekend....now all the kid stuff is over.  It's a very melancholy feeling.  I'm not sure I'll really miss the games that much, but I will miss watching her, if that makes sense.  I get these little melancholy twinges every so often when something reminds me that my children are children no longer.  Like this morning when I walked into the lunch room at work.  The TV was on and some morning news show was at one of the local high schools doing a remote about the upcoming football playoffs.  As they were signing off, the marching band started playing their fight song.  That's all it took.  Two of my kids were in marching band.  I'm sure I've mentioned here before how much I loved the marching band.  Every time I hear a marching band I get that little melancholy feeling right in the center of my heart.  I guess you could call it a heartache. 

My T-Ball Baby

The funny thing about this is....I really love the life I have now.  I love having my own time and not having somewhere to go every night of the week.  I definitely do not sit around moping about this but I've thought a lot about this the last couple of years.  Wondering about why, if I love my life, do I miss the past so much?  I think I've finally figured out that it's not the past I miss, it's my kids.  I miss my kids being kids.  I miss the innocence, the fun, the lightheartedness.  I miss watching Sesame Street and Hey Dude!  I miss Dr. Seuss.  I miss bath time and storytime.  I miss Saturday morning cartoons.  I really miss all that stuff that having kids gets you.  I miss the simple pleasure of knowing that my kids have no worries. 

Coach Dad and Player/Coach 2008

I love my adult children.  They are fun to talk to and discuss issues with and sometimes I can even borrow money from them!  I love who they are and where they're going.  I love them more than I ever have.  But I still miss my kids...and I suppose I always will.

Dan & Beth - Coaches Extraordinare - Spring 2010

Quote for the Week:

All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter into another!

~Gail Sheehy~