I've spoken here before about my husband, the King of Procrastination. He is a wonderful man, who I don't deserve, but he has one little flaw. He is a chronic procrastinator. I've learned to live with it over the years. I choose to weigh all the great points against this one bad point. There is one project in our house that has been put off above all others. The master bathroom. This particular bathroom, the shower to be exact, has even found a coveted spot in my annual Christmas letter. I actually update the progress, or lack there of, of said shower just like I update the progress of my children. I've been writing about it in some form or another for the past 15 years. Yeah, you heard right, 15. Here's whats transpired with the shower in the last 15 years:
Our original shower fell apart on me...literally. Standing in the shower one day and the tiles started falling off the wall...fun. We gutted the shower and because of lack of funds and some procrastination, an absence of shower ensued. We went so long without a shower that my youngest daughter didn't even know that's what was suppose to go in that hole in Mommy and Daddy's bathroom. Having 5 people using the tub shower in the kids bathroom for years was not fun. But wait, it gets better. We finally get the shower done and are relishing having our own shower when a couple of weeks later......the same thing happens in the kids bath. So here we are back to one shower again. Several months later we find a leak in the new shower...no joke. We hurry to complete the kids shower so we can try to repair ours. Only to find it was probably leaking the whole time and we have mold behind the shower walls. Lovely. So, we gut the master shower again and here we are about 5 years later and everyone is still using one little tub shower. Now, in my husbands defense I have to say that it has not been all his fault. There are always extenuating circumstances...which translates to lack of funds.
So, how surprised do you think I was when I walked into the bedroom last Saturday to find a fine layer of drywall dust covering EVERYTHING. I couldn't get mad because he was actually working on the bathroom! He pulled the whole ceiling down (hence the drywall dust), put in a pretty new light/fan combo, rewired the light switches and put new drywall up on the ceiling. It's a start and I'm looking forward to actually having a shower in there once again.
I'll keep you updated on the progress. Who knows, I may have to find a new topic of conversation for my Christmas letter......
Monday, April 26, 2010
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
HELP!!
I've fallen into Facebook and I can't get out!!! Which is why I missed my son's birthday post. His birthday was Monday, so happy belated birthday to the best son a mother could ask for. I'm still working on Stephen's story so I will post it in a couple of days providing I can find my way back here from Facebook. I knew I never should have started with that darn thing........
Quote of the Day:
"Lost wealth may be replaced by industry, lost knowledge by study, lost health by temperance or medicine, but lost time is gone forever."
Samuel Smiles
Quote of the Day:
"Lost wealth may be replaced by industry, lost knowledge by study, lost health by temperance or medicine, but lost time is gone forever."
Samuel Smiles
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Never Say Never.....Again
Quite a few times in the last several months I've said something like...."I'll never do...fill in the blank". I was never going to get one of those fancy cell phones. Who needs it? I really don't use my phone all that much, but I do text my daughters a lot. Mostly because it's their preferred method of communication. Well, my little cheap freebie phone was not cutting it for the texting so, it comes time to upgrade and I decide I need a new phone that has a keyboard for texting. What I ended up with is a Droid and now I can't figure out how I ever lived without it. I suppose it's the same feeling my mother had when she said she'd never use a microwave and then we got one. She never cooked vegetables on the stove again(well almost never).
One thing I was always very adamant about was the fact that I would NEVER get a Facebook page. First of all, I felt like it was a "young persons" thing. And then I worried that my daughters would feel like I was checking up on them. But most importantly, I was worried about the time factor. Do you find you lose track of time when you are online? Hours go by and it seems like minutes. So, time was an issue also. As most of you know, I can barely keep up with my blog, let alone manage Facebook. Well, this week I caved (my daughters words). I kind of hate myself for it. But, once again I'm finding myself hooked. I don't think it's as great as my Droid and it's certainly not as useful as a microwave, but it's fun. There's a whole world out there I never knew existed. Who knew you could run a farm, bake bread and serve up food all without leaving your couch? I'm still getting used to Facebook land, but it's interesting and intriguing and I'm willing to give it some time....but not too much.
So feel free to "friend" me and come write on my wall. Now there's something I NEVER thought I'd say!
************************************
Quote of the Day:
"Never say never, for if you live long enough, chances are you will not be able to abide by its restrictions. Never is a long, undependable time, and life is too full of rich possibilities to have restrictions placed upon it."
Gloria Swanson (1899 - 1983)
One thing I was always very adamant about was the fact that I would NEVER get a Facebook page. First of all, I felt like it was a "young persons" thing. And then I worried that my daughters would feel like I was checking up on them. But most importantly, I was worried about the time factor. Do you find you lose track of time when you are online? Hours go by and it seems like minutes. So, time was an issue also. As most of you know, I can barely keep up with my blog, let alone manage Facebook. Well, this week I caved (my daughters words). I kind of hate myself for it. But, once again I'm finding myself hooked. I don't think it's as great as my Droid and it's certainly not as useful as a microwave, but it's fun. There's a whole world out there I never knew existed. Who knew you could run a farm, bake bread and serve up food all without leaving your couch? I'm still getting used to Facebook land, but it's interesting and intriguing and I'm willing to give it some time....but not too much.
So feel free to "friend" me and come write on my wall. Now there's something I NEVER thought I'd say!
************************************
Quote of the Day:
"Never say never, for if you live long enough, chances are you will not be able to abide by its restrictions. Never is a long, undependable time, and life is too full of rich possibilities to have restrictions placed upon it."
Gloria Swanson (1899 - 1983)
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
The Story of Beth
A few days ago I told you The Story of Sarah, my oldest child. Now has come the time to introduce you to my youngest, Beth. She turned 21 in January and I swear it was just yesterday that I watched her walk into the pre-school classroom for the first time. Who knew then that she would grow up to love tattoos, try my patience everyday and fill my life with joy?
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The Story of Beth
The thing I remember most about my baby child's birth is that her father missed it. Oh, he was there; he just didn't find it necessary to change into the required scrubs when I told him he should. Consequence of not listening to me: fast delivery and Dad misses everything. I guess I shouldn't be too critical, the doctor missed it too. Beth came into this world in a hurry and she hasn't slowed down since. I had to heehee/whowho while the nurses pushed my gurney down the hallway to the delivery room, all the while the resident was telling me not to push till the doctor got there. I told him he could say it all he wanted but the child was not listening(that was a sign of things to come!). And with that and one small push she was born. I've always thought she might become a pilot because she came out flying. The one good thing the resident did was make a spectacular catch.
And so the fun began. She learned to crawl early and then to climb. At 6 months she could climb onto or up anything she put her mind to. She wasn't really interested in walking, she'd rather climb and make Mommy a basket case. By the time she was two nothing was out of limits. From the time she could mobilize Beth has gotten everything she could out of every single day. She goes head first(like the bull in the proverbial china shop)as fast as she can at every task big or small. She makes me exhausted just watching her. She has always had this zest for life. But along with that zest comes a small little problem. No time to be neat. We must move from one thing to another as fast as we can so as to get as much as possible into one day. No time for clean up. She can leave a mess in her wake only the Red Cross could appretiate.
She's the child that tries my patience the most. She's the one that feels it necessary to push any issue just to see how far she can get. She also loves to argue and will argue about almost anything whether it needs to be argued about or not. She also needs to get the last word, or should I say sound, in. Even if it's a sigh or a grunt, she must leave the argument having had the last sound. That same determination also makes her a fiercly loyal person. If she loves you, she loves you unconditionally and with everything she's got. She's the best kind of friend there is. She's kind and compassionate, loves kids and animals and makes me laugh everyday. She is just a naturally funny person. I can't even explain it. You just have to know her. But if you're around her……you will laugh.
To Beth, life's a party and the more fun you have at the party the better. Who wouldn't love having someone like that in their life? It's exhausting, but oh so wonderful.
************************************************************
Thanks for reading about my little girl who's not so little anymore. I used to think it was hard when the oldest did all those "first" things but I've come to realize that it's much harder when the youngest does everything for the "last" time. I'm slowly getting used to the fact that I'm the mom of adults, but it's taking time.
Hope you all have a wonderful evening.
***************************************************************
The Story of Beth
The thing I remember most about my baby child's birth is that her father missed it. Oh, he was there; he just didn't find it necessary to change into the required scrubs when I told him he should. Consequence of not listening to me: fast delivery and Dad misses everything. I guess I shouldn't be too critical, the doctor missed it too. Beth came into this world in a hurry and she hasn't slowed down since. I had to heehee/whowho while the nurses pushed my gurney down the hallway to the delivery room, all the while the resident was telling me not to push till the doctor got there. I told him he could say it all he wanted but the child was not listening(that was a sign of things to come!). And with that and one small push she was born. I've always thought she might become a pilot because she came out flying. The one good thing the resident did was make a spectacular catch.
And so the fun began. She learned to crawl early and then to climb. At 6 months she could climb onto or up anything she put her mind to. She wasn't really interested in walking, she'd rather climb and make Mommy a basket case. By the time she was two nothing was out of limits. From the time she could mobilize Beth has gotten everything she could out of every single day. She goes head first(like the bull in the proverbial china shop)as fast as she can at every task big or small. She makes me exhausted just watching her. She has always had this zest for life. But along with that zest comes a small little problem. No time to be neat. We must move from one thing to another as fast as we can so as to get as much as possible into one day. No time for clean up. She can leave a mess in her wake only the Red Cross could appretiate.
She's the child that tries my patience the most. She's the one that feels it necessary to push any issue just to see how far she can get. She also loves to argue and will argue about almost anything whether it needs to be argued about or not. She also needs to get the last word, or should I say sound, in. Even if it's a sigh or a grunt, she must leave the argument having had the last sound. That same determination also makes her a fiercly loyal person. If she loves you, she loves you unconditionally and with everything she's got. She's the best kind of friend there is. She's kind and compassionate, loves kids and animals and makes me laugh everyday. She is just a naturally funny person. I can't even explain it. You just have to know her. But if you're around her……you will laugh.
To Beth, life's a party and the more fun you have at the party the better. Who wouldn't love having someone like that in their life? It's exhausting, but oh so wonderful.
************************************************************
Thanks for reading about my little girl who's not so little anymore. I used to think it was hard when the oldest did all those "first" things but I've come to realize that it's much harder when the youngest does everything for the "last" time. I'm slowly getting used to the fact that I'm the mom of adults, but it's taking time.
Hope you all have a wonderful evening.
Saturday, March 20, 2010
The Circle Never Ends
It's softball season once again. Dan is on the board of our local girls fast-pitch league. It's a fun league and much more laid back than club ball. Beth played her last season of Spring Ball last year. It was a sad time for her. It's the only thing about turning 21 that she regrets. She loves softball more than anything. I have been going to baseball and softball games for almost as many years as I've been a mother. I was sad that it was coming to an end but quite frankly, I was also ready for it to be over. Then Dan comes home and announces that he will be coaching our 9 year old great-niece this season. I don't know what I expected, he loves coaching and he loves being at the field. It's been a long time since he coached "little" girls. He's learning all over again and Beth is helping so she still gets her softball fix. Today was their first game. I went to the game because I knew it would mean a lot to my niece if I came to watch her daughter. And, because I don't have any grandchildren, I occasionally claim her as my surrogate grandchild ;-)
I forgot just how cute they are at this age. And just how boring the games can be. Many of the girls are just learning how to play. Lots and lots of walks make for a boring game. I still enjoyed it, but it was boring. Oh, and I forgot about the chanting. If you've ever been to a girls softball game you know what I'm talking about. The bigger girls didn't chant so much but the little ones love it. When Beth was little I used to hear those chants in my dreams....oy! It also made me remember one of the many reasons that I love my husband. He is so patient and wonderful with these little ones. He makes them all feel special. He loves them and they love him right back.
So, while I was sitting there, I thought about how things always come full circle. How I thought I was done with this part of my life only to find out that it's come back to me in a whole new way. How my daughter will coach her kids and those kids will coach their kids and the circle never ends.
It's a beautiful thing.
I forgot just how cute they are at this age. And just how boring the games can be. Many of the girls are just learning how to play. Lots and lots of walks make for a boring game. I still enjoyed it, but it was boring. Oh, and I forgot about the chanting. If you've ever been to a girls softball game you know what I'm talking about. The bigger girls didn't chant so much but the little ones love it. When Beth was little I used to hear those chants in my dreams....oy! It also made me remember one of the many reasons that I love my husband. He is so patient and wonderful with these little ones. He makes them all feel special. He loves them and they love him right back.
So, while I was sitting there, I thought about how things always come full circle. How I thought I was done with this part of my life only to find out that it's come back to me in a whole new way. How my daughter will coach her kids and those kids will coach their kids and the circle never ends.
It's a beautiful thing.
Friday, March 19, 2010
The Story of Sarah
Back in September, I shared with you The Story of Dan and Gerri which was the start of this wild ride I call my life. All along it was my intention to share the stories of each of my children on their birthdays. Then life intervened, I became a slacker blogger, and two of their birthdays passed without so much as a fare-thee-well. Since the third birthday is fast approaching, I guess I better get caught up. This is the story of my oldst child, Sarah. It's not so much a story about her, as it is a story about how she came to be. While no mother has a favorite and you love different things about each child, your first child is special in a special way only mothers can know. And so it is true with mine. She is the heart of my heart, a miracle of God, and when I look in her eyes I see the promise of tomorrow. She is everything good and true and wonderful about the world and she has grown into such a special young woman. She is amazing. I marvel every day that God entrusted her to me. I'm not only proud to call her my daughter, I'm so very proud that she's my friend. (It's one of the perks of having adult children, that you can finally be their friend.)
*****************************************************
The Story of Sarah
When Dan and I decided to get married we talked a lot about having a family. We knew we wanted one but we were unsure about when we wanted to start one. After much discussion we decided that since we had dated for 4 years we had already had a lot of time to ourselves and we were ready to start building a family. We got married on a sunny and rather hot September afternoon. I was almost giddy with happiness. I was marrying the man of my dreams and soon I would attain the ultimate goal of my life, motherhood. I was so sure that I would get pregnant within the first month. It didn't happen that way and it upset me but I knew that it would happen soon enough. As the months passed I started to wonder why God was making me wait so long. I prayed, pleaded and even bargained with God to send us a baby. Nothing. I couldn't understand why He wasn't setting the plan in motion. Hadn't He revealed to me that motherhood was my calling? Or had I only heard what I wanted to hear?
I watched women who had gotten married after I had, get pregnant, have their babies and get pregnant again. I began to dread baby showers. I hated the sight of strollers, playpens and baby toys. It was painful to watch all the young mothers with their babies while my arms where empty. I wanted to cry out "What about me?". I was bitter and angry. I wondered if we would ever conceive. Dan was patient and kind, always reminding me that good things come to those who wait. Well, I was tired of waiting. I was tired of doctor appointments, taking my temperature and fending off well meaning, but nonetheless hurtful, questions about when we were going to start a family.
About three years into this process I just decided to forget it all. I was so fed up with everything. I wish I could say it was a voice from God telling me to slow down or that I had a great epiphany of some sort, but no. I think I was just so emotionally worn out. I didn't have another ounce of fight left in me. (As an aside here, I must give it up to all those women who hang in there for years and years and fight the good fight to become mothers. I know so many of them who have waited much longer than I did. I don't know how they do it, but I admire them.) So, I stopped everything. No more doctors, no more thermometers and no more worrying. I prayed about it and asked God for his forgiveness and that His will be done.
I started thinking about adoption or just living out my life without children. I felt peacefully calm for the first time in so long. About 5 months later I missed a period. I didn't really think much of it. This had happened many times before. But the days moved into weeks and I missed another one. I finally bought a home pregnancy test. Now, this was back in the day when you had to wait a couple of hours for the results. Let me tell you, that was the longest two hours I ever spent. Much to my surprise, it was positive. I was excited, but cautious. This had also happend before, false postitives. I made an appointment with my doctor and waited some more. All tests were positive and we were given a due date of December 26th. Ironic since both our birthdays' are in December and Dan's is the 27th. We figured, first baby, we probably won't deliver until January anyway. We were just so happy to finally be pregnant.
I had a wonderful pregnancy and tried to enjoy it without wishing it away. I really just wanted to deliver and hold that baby in my arms. As the last weeks of December approached we readied everything and began to wait. There were the obligatory jokes about delivering before the 31st to get the tax deduction. I was ok with that…the sooner the better. Christmas Eve was a beautiful sunny Arizona day. We did some last minute shopping, looked at Christmas light displays and went to 9 o'clock Mass. By the time we got home I was tired and ready for bed. I went to bed but for some reason I just couldn't sleep. I was restless and uncomfortable so I got up and vacuumed the living room and did some dishes. Hmmm…guess I should have figured it out. When the contractions started at about 1:30am I was so surprised. Christmas Day, I was going into labor on Christmas Day?!? At first I thought, it's just a false alarm, they'll calm down in a while. At 6:30 when they were 15 minutes apart, I decided maybe it was for real and maybe I should wake Dan. At 5 minutes apart we headed to the hospital.
I was still in denial about delivering on Christmas. All the horror stories I'd heard from people who hated their birthdays being on Christmas began running through my head. The doctor made his appearance at 10am, told me he thought I'd deliver around 1pm, and left. I decided he was wrong, asked for an epidural, and spent the next couple of hours trying to convince myself I could hang on until midnight. I was wrong, of course, and amazing things happen when you give your destiny to God....
At 1:09 PM on Christmas Day 1984 our wonderful, beautiful daughter was born. The miracle of birth makes you forget all your negative thoughts. All I could think was what a beautiful little life had been entrusted to my care. And how apropos, after waiting such a long time, that we should deliver her on Christmas Day. She was and continues to be the best Christmas present we've ever received. We have always told her how special it is that she shares her birthday with the Savior. She has always felt special because of that and has certainly never felt cheated. So, Christmas at our house is much more than gifts and holiday meals. It's a celebration of two special births, and a reminder of how lucky we are to have them both in our lives.
***************************************************
So, there you have it. The story of my own little miracle baby. If you stayed to read the whole, long story, I appreciate it. In a couple of days I'll be writing about my youngest child who turned 21 in January. To know her is to be totally exhausted 24/7/365. She still keeps me on my toes!
Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!
*****************************************************
The Story of Sarah
When Dan and I decided to get married we talked a lot about having a family. We knew we wanted one but we were unsure about when we wanted to start one. After much discussion we decided that since we had dated for 4 years we had already had a lot of time to ourselves and we were ready to start building a family. We got married on a sunny and rather hot September afternoon. I was almost giddy with happiness. I was marrying the man of my dreams and soon I would attain the ultimate goal of my life, motherhood. I was so sure that I would get pregnant within the first month. It didn't happen that way and it upset me but I knew that it would happen soon enough. As the months passed I started to wonder why God was making me wait so long. I prayed, pleaded and even bargained with God to send us a baby. Nothing. I couldn't understand why He wasn't setting the plan in motion. Hadn't He revealed to me that motherhood was my calling? Or had I only heard what I wanted to hear?
I watched women who had gotten married after I had, get pregnant, have their babies and get pregnant again. I began to dread baby showers. I hated the sight of strollers, playpens and baby toys. It was painful to watch all the young mothers with their babies while my arms where empty. I wanted to cry out "What about me?". I was bitter and angry. I wondered if we would ever conceive. Dan was patient and kind, always reminding me that good things come to those who wait. Well, I was tired of waiting. I was tired of doctor appointments, taking my temperature and fending off well meaning, but nonetheless hurtful, questions about when we were going to start a family.
About three years into this process I just decided to forget it all. I was so fed up with everything. I wish I could say it was a voice from God telling me to slow down or that I had a great epiphany of some sort, but no. I think I was just so emotionally worn out. I didn't have another ounce of fight left in me. (As an aside here, I must give it up to all those women who hang in there for years and years and fight the good fight to become mothers. I know so many of them who have waited much longer than I did. I don't know how they do it, but I admire them.) So, I stopped everything. No more doctors, no more thermometers and no more worrying. I prayed about it and asked God for his forgiveness and that His will be done.
I started thinking about adoption or just living out my life without children. I felt peacefully calm for the first time in so long. About 5 months later I missed a period. I didn't really think much of it. This had happened many times before. But the days moved into weeks and I missed another one. I finally bought a home pregnancy test. Now, this was back in the day when you had to wait a couple of hours for the results. Let me tell you, that was the longest two hours I ever spent. Much to my surprise, it was positive. I was excited, but cautious. This had also happend before, false postitives. I made an appointment with my doctor and waited some more. All tests were positive and we were given a due date of December 26th. Ironic since both our birthdays' are in December and Dan's is the 27th. We figured, first baby, we probably won't deliver until January anyway. We were just so happy to finally be pregnant.
I had a wonderful pregnancy and tried to enjoy it without wishing it away. I really just wanted to deliver and hold that baby in my arms. As the last weeks of December approached we readied everything and began to wait. There were the obligatory jokes about delivering before the 31st to get the tax deduction. I was ok with that…the sooner the better. Christmas Eve was a beautiful sunny Arizona day. We did some last minute shopping, looked at Christmas light displays and went to 9 o'clock Mass. By the time we got home I was tired and ready for bed. I went to bed but for some reason I just couldn't sleep. I was restless and uncomfortable so I got up and vacuumed the living room and did some dishes. Hmmm…guess I should have figured it out. When the contractions started at about 1:30am I was so surprised. Christmas Day, I was going into labor on Christmas Day?!? At first I thought, it's just a false alarm, they'll calm down in a while. At 6:30 when they were 15 minutes apart, I decided maybe it was for real and maybe I should wake Dan. At 5 minutes apart we headed to the hospital.
I was still in denial about delivering on Christmas. All the horror stories I'd heard from people who hated their birthdays being on Christmas began running through my head. The doctor made his appearance at 10am, told me he thought I'd deliver around 1pm, and left. I decided he was wrong, asked for an epidural, and spent the next couple of hours trying to convince myself I could hang on until midnight. I was wrong, of course, and amazing things happen when you give your destiny to God....
At 1:09 PM on Christmas Day 1984 our wonderful, beautiful daughter was born. The miracle of birth makes you forget all your negative thoughts. All I could think was what a beautiful little life had been entrusted to my care. And how apropos, after waiting such a long time, that we should deliver her on Christmas Day. She was and continues to be the best Christmas present we've ever received. We have always told her how special it is that she shares her birthday with the Savior. She has always felt special because of that and has certainly never felt cheated. So, Christmas at our house is much more than gifts and holiday meals. It's a celebration of two special births, and a reminder of how lucky we are to have them both in our lives.
***************************************************
So, there you have it. The story of my own little miracle baby. If you stayed to read the whole, long story, I appreciate it. In a couple of days I'll be writing about my youngest child who turned 21 in January. To know her is to be totally exhausted 24/7/365. She still keeps me on my toes!
Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!
Monday, March 15, 2010
It's not the one thing......
I have always loved figure skating. My earliest memory is sitting with my mother, watching Peggy Fleming skate across the screen of our old black and white TV. I used to put socks on and slide around our linoleum floor pretending I was the next Olympic figure skating champion. I think living in the desert made the sport seem so mysterious and glamerous. I had never seen a pair of ice skates or an ice rink, for that matter. And while none of this has anything to do with the theme for this post, what started my thinking process did and I thought I would share a long forgotten childhood memory. So there you have it....the randomness that is me. Onward.....
I was watching a program about Scott Hamilton (see, there was a link, however small). All about his comeback after brain surgery and a five year hiatus from skating. It was inspiring. During the show he talked about facing something he had never faced before. While practicing, if he made a mistake in the program, he would quit skating. He had never done this before in his career. He knew it was fear and he was having a difficult time figuring out how to work through the fear.
I experience this a lot in my own life. I have a problem with anxiety. It keeps me from living life to it's fullest measure. It's the one thing I really dislike about myself and would like to change.
During the program Scott mentioned a saying that he used to get himself over the fear and to stop quitting. "It's not the one thing...it's the whole thing." Meaning that if he made a mistake it didn't ruin the whole program because there were many more elements in the program than just that one jump or just that one spin.
It got me thinking. I could apply this in my own life. Many times the "one thing" will keep me from enjoying the "whole thing". So many times I get caught up in some thing that is making me anxious and I forget the big picture. How will this affect me in a week, a month, a year, five years? When you stop to put things into the context of your "whole" life, the "one" thing doesn't seem so big.
So I've decided to live my life like I'm figure skating. And if I fall on that triple Lutz, I'll just get back up and do a triple toe loop. All the while reciting my new mantra...."It's not the one thing...it's the whole thing."
Here's to new beginnings......
I was watching a program about Scott Hamilton (see, there was a link, however small). All about his comeback after brain surgery and a five year hiatus from skating. It was inspiring. During the show he talked about facing something he had never faced before. While practicing, if he made a mistake in the program, he would quit skating. He had never done this before in his career. He knew it was fear and he was having a difficult time figuring out how to work through the fear.
I experience this a lot in my own life. I have a problem with anxiety. It keeps me from living life to it's fullest measure. It's the one thing I really dislike about myself and would like to change.
During the program Scott mentioned a saying that he used to get himself over the fear and to stop quitting. "It's not the one thing...it's the whole thing." Meaning that if he made a mistake it didn't ruin the whole program because there were many more elements in the program than just that one jump or just that one spin.
It got me thinking. I could apply this in my own life. Many times the "one thing" will keep me from enjoying the "whole thing". So many times I get caught up in some thing that is making me anxious and I forget the big picture. How will this affect me in a week, a month, a year, five years? When you stop to put things into the context of your "whole" life, the "one" thing doesn't seem so big.
So I've decided to live my life like I'm figure skating. And if I fall on that triple Lutz, I'll just get back up and do a triple toe loop. All the while reciting my new mantra...."It's not the one thing...it's the whole thing."
Here's to new beginnings......
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