Tomorrow I will celebrate 35 years of marriage to an incredible man that I am lucky, by the grace of God, to share my life with.
35 is a big number. At this point I’ve been married longer than I was single…by about 14 years. And I can honestly say that it is the best thing that ever happened to me (sorry kids!). I get to have this great friend who knows me better than I know myself. He takes care of me, encourages me, comforts me, supports me and lets me crochet instead of cleaning or making dinner….and he never complains about it. He hates my anxiety and yet he still lets me get in a car with him when he knows most of the ride will be spent with me making gasping noises from the passenger seat and telling him not to “drive so close!” We don’t share a lot of common interests except for sports and a few TV shows. I don’t get his obsession with softball and weird reality TV and I know he doesn’t get my obsessive love of reading, crocheting and musicals (especially Wicked!). But, he will endure going to musicals with me because he knows I love it and he knows how much I hate to drive across town to the theater. I could fill this page with the many little ways he shows his love. I always tell people that he is way better to me than I am to him because I am always so grateful for everything he does for me.
That doesn’t mean that I don’t give as well as I receive. I mean…who else do you know would put up without a shower for as many years as I have? Or tolerate the many, many, many hours he spends running a softball league and coaching girls who are not his daughters. Or putting up with an epic level of procrastination that I don’t think can be matched by anyone on this planet. My problem is that I am a natural complainer and Dan is not. Dan is stoic to a fault…me, not so much. If I’m feeling it, then I’m sharing it. If Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy….and you’ll hear about it in my Christmas letter. But to be truthful, I don’t really mind any of those things…well, the procrastination I could do without, but the rest of it, I’m ok with because I know it’s what he loves and I’m happy that he has those things in his life. I love that he loves coaching and helping girls to have a safe place to have fun and be competitive without pressure. It takes a lot of time away from me, but how could I ever be upset by such a noble endeavor. It’s one of the reasons I love him so much. He is very selfless with his time and talents.
Over the years we have learned to tolerate those little irritations because we can see the bigger picture. Life doesn’t have to be perfect all the time. We were meant to be together. For better or worse…we belong to each other. With all our faults, foibles and idiosyncrasies…we are two halves of one whole. Together we are so much better than we ever would be apart.
A special message to Dan:
Life has not always been easy for us but it has been fulfilling and filled with love. I can never express how much I love you. I love the wonderful husband you are to me and the exceptional father you are to our children. You have been such an excellent example to our kids of what it means to be a giving person. I think they are all much better people because of you. Thanks for putting up with me all these years. I love you to the moon and back and I am looking forward to seeing what the next 35 years have in store (hopefully there’ll be a shower in there somewhere ;).